... with an almost inexcusable pun.
But no matter! On the first Saturday of the new decade, I (finally) figured out what size I am, confirmed the design, settled on my wording, and sent the whole lot down to greenKarat, an ecologically responsible jeweler located in Houston, Texas.
Emily and I had heard plenty about the negative social and environmental impacts of jewelry-related mining, so we decided that gold and diamonds, lovely as they may be, needn't play a role in our Celebration. Neither of us are particularly big jewelery wearers in any case, and, since we were building this ceremony from scratch, the exchange of rings didn't really have to be a part of it at all.
But then, two things happened in quick succession: First, we discovered the wonderful world of recycled jewelery. greenKarat, the maker we ended up choosing, offers some very beautiful designs, and they are hardly the only option. Some artists will even take existing jewelery - for example, something of a lesser monetary value but with personal significance or family stories connected with it - and use elements from that piece to create a new, unique design.
Anyway, Emily was considering greenKarat's Diatom ring, and I was drawn to one called Binary. We thought it was pretty cute that we would represent a building block of ecosystems and a building block of information systems, respectively. (Nerd + Geek = Bliss.)
But then, the second thing happened: Very touchingly, Emily's Grandmother gave Emily her own wedding and engagement ring, with the idea that we could have someone reclaim the metal and stones for our own design. Needless to say, Marge's ring was already beautiful, with a '40s-vintage, Deco look (which happens to be one of Emily's favorites), and we decided to keep it just as it was. I don't think Emily has taken it off since.
So that left me. I still wanted the Binary, but that pattern you see below - the one around the flat, outer facing - is actually a binarised representation of an English phrase:
And I had to decide what I wanted my phrase to be. They give you 25 characters to work with - less than half a tweet! - and, let me tell you right now, cramming one's hopes and dreams, along with some encapsulation of a 10-year relationship into 25 characters is no easy task.
The process I went through was similar to what I imagine designing one's first tattoo would be like... Emily and I have talked a lot about this event's symbolism: how that symbolism differs from traditional wedding symbolism, and how it doesn't; why we are even doing this the way we are doing it; what the event means to us as individuals, and what it means to us as an interdependent, interconnected unit. We've talked a lot about how, for example, we are not so much transforming our relationship from one thing (dating, or engaged) into another (married), but rather, are acknowledging and honoring our relationship's gradual, beautiful - though not always graceful - evolutions. Growth has been a central idea for us throughout, as has been that strange and wonderful mixture of autonomy and helplessness, the depths of which one is only truly free to plumb in the most loving, trusting relationships. I love these ideas, I love talking about them with Emily, and I love how they have manifested in our own interactions over the years. Naturally, I wanted them on my ring as well; and, as it turns out, 25 is just the right number of characters with which to say, "Having grown we will grow."
Having loved, we will love. Having known, we will know. Having grown, we will grow.
I tried a lot of different phrases before I found one that felt just right, and I'm glad I kept working, because I really like how it turned out! I like how it sounds, I like what it means, I like how it is a small piece that is whole, and that creates, and that calls out for something else, all in one. And I like how it feels against my skin...
THAT'S RIGHT! It got here today:
But no matter! On the first Saturday of the new decade, I (finally) figured out what size I am, confirmed the design, settled on my wording, and sent the whole lot down to greenKarat, an ecologically responsible jeweler located in Houston, Texas.
Emily and I had heard plenty about the negative social and environmental impacts of jewelry-related mining, so we decided that gold and diamonds, lovely as they may be, needn't play a role in our Celebration. Neither of us are particularly big jewelery wearers in any case, and, since we were building this ceremony from scratch, the exchange of rings didn't really have to be a part of it at all.
But then, two things happened in quick succession: First, we discovered the wonderful world of recycled jewelery. greenKarat, the maker we ended up choosing, offers some very beautiful designs, and they are hardly the only option. Some artists will even take existing jewelery - for example, something of a lesser monetary value but with personal significance or family stories connected with it - and use elements from that piece to create a new, unique design.
Anyway, Emily was considering greenKarat's Diatom ring, and I was drawn to one called Binary. We thought it was pretty cute that we would represent a building block of ecosystems and a building block of information systems, respectively. (Nerd + Geek = Bliss.)
But then, the second thing happened: Very touchingly, Emily's Grandmother gave Emily her own wedding and engagement ring, with the idea that we could have someone reclaim the metal and stones for our own design. Needless to say, Marge's ring was already beautiful, with a '40s-vintage, Deco look (which happens to be one of Emily's favorites), and we decided to keep it just as it was. I don't think Emily has taken it off since.
So that left me. I still wanted the Binary, but that pattern you see below - the one around the flat, outer facing - is actually a binarised representation of an English phrase:
And I had to decide what I wanted my phrase to be. They give you 25 characters to work with - less than half a tweet! - and, let me tell you right now, cramming one's hopes and dreams, along with some encapsulation of a 10-year relationship into 25 characters is no easy task.
The process I went through was similar to what I imagine designing one's first tattoo would be like... Emily and I have talked a lot about this event's symbolism: how that symbolism differs from traditional wedding symbolism, and how it doesn't; why we are even doing this the way we are doing it; what the event means to us as individuals, and what it means to us as an interdependent, interconnected unit. We've talked a lot about how, for example, we are not so much transforming our relationship from one thing (dating, or engaged) into another (married), but rather, are acknowledging and honoring our relationship's gradual, beautiful - though not always graceful - evolutions. Growth has been a central idea for us throughout, as has been that strange and wonderful mixture of autonomy and helplessness, the depths of which one is only truly free to plumb in the most loving, trusting relationships. I love these ideas, I love talking about them with Emily, and I love how they have manifested in our own interactions over the years. Naturally, I wanted them on my ring as well; and, as it turns out, 25 is just the right number of characters with which to say, "Having grown we will grow."
Having loved, we will love. Having known, we will know. Having grown, we will grow.
I tried a lot of different phrases before I found one that felt just right, and I'm glad I kept working, because I really like how it turned out! I like how it sounds, I like what it means, I like how it is a small piece that is whole, and that creates, and that calls out for something else, all in one. And I like how it feels against my skin...
THAT'S RIGHT! It got here today:
Emily & David Get a Ring from David on Vimeo.
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